Long-distance relationships are tough - but lockdown helped this couple
By Hazel Shearing
BBC News
Alexia liked the look of Tao's photos and gave him a chance. When she swiped right back in the first lockdown, they were separated by the River Thames and a short walk through the Greenwich foot tunnel. A year later, it's the Atlantic Ocean and about 3,000 miles.
Alexia, 27, says she wouldn't have even been on Bumble, the dating app where they met, had it not been for the pandemic.
She is looking noticeably more spritely than Tao, 24, when she joins the Zoom call. It's 15:00 for us in London, but for her, in her hometown of Ottawa, Canada, it's 10:00.
"I kind of hopped on almost like a quarantine activity. Just a fun thing to do, you know?" says the freelance graphic designer, when we talk about online dating in lockdown. At the time she was working in the UK on a temporary visa. "I missed meeting new people. I felt like I should be living my best life here, living abroad, but I wasn't able to do that."
She and Tao, an engineering student, realised quickly they lived about a half a mile from one another. It was just a 30 minute walk between Greenwich and the Isle of Dogs, in south London, but coronavirus restrictions meant meeting up for a date wasn't possible. So instead they spent a month chatting virtually.
In May, a slight relaxation of England's Covid restrictions meant that they were able to meet outside in person. They went to Greenwich Park, keeping two metres apart from one another.
"We never broke our social distancing," says Alexia. "It was still the peak of lockdown, it was a bit scary. It was the most wholesome dating experience, like no physical contact at all."
They saw each other every day, and the same park became their "stomping ground". After about six weeks they formed a support bubble, since Tao lived by himself. Alexia says it seemed soon, but thinks the pandemic made their relationship move quicker.
"There's not too many people casually dating because you can't really," she says. "It kind of just nudged us faster to make a decision - is this what we want?"
As they grew closer, a secret began pressing on Alexia's mind. She knew her visa was due to run out in December and she would have to go back to Canada. She waited for the right time to tell him, but there wasn't one. One day in early summer, as they were gazing across south London from the top of a hill in their favourite park, she came clean. She says, to her surprise, he took it well.
"It was emotional for me when she was leaving," Tao says. He pauses for a second before adding: "I didn't cry, obviously. I just realised it's a new chapter. If it works, it works. It's still working up to now, so I'm happy with it."
Some friends and family couldn't believe it when they said they were going to continue their relationship ("my cousin was like, 'you're crazy'", Alexia laughs). But they say their set-up is more or less the same as it was when they first matched.
For Tao, chatting to Alexia over the phone and video calls once she went back to Canada was "pretty much like what we did at the beginning, but long-distance". "There's no physical contact but we're talking every day," he says.
Alexia agrees, saying it's "like a continuation of how our relationship started". "This is round two, just an ocean apart," she says.
Coronavirus restrictions mean it is currently illegal to travel abroad from the UK for holidays. Canada has also banned most foreign nationals.
Ottawa, Canada's capital, is in the most populous province, Ontario, where the rate of coronavirus infections reached an all-time high last month. That prompted restrictions on non-essential travel and a six-week stay-at-home-order.
Despite all of this, the couple think it's easier to do long-distance in a pandemic than it would have been otherwise. With Alexia working from home and Tao learning remotely, it's easy to get hold of one another, despite the five-hour time difference.
"We're not juggling being at work and socialising, we're both just always at home," says Alexia. "I don't think it would have been like this in normal life circumstances, because I think both of us had quite busy lives before the pandemic. It's kind of nice that we've been able to prioritise quality time together, and just spending time together online."
For the most-part, they do normal things, only virtually. They watch films in sync (Train to Busan, a Korean Zombie film, seems to have been Alexia's pick rather than Tao's) and have meals together - even if her lunch is his dinner.
One big difference is that they haven't been able to meet each other's friends and families.
"It's been a unique experience where we have been dating in a bubble. The outside world has not really touched our relationship much in terms of a lot of our time together is just us two. Which has been in a way kind of nice," says Alexia.
They agree that long-distance dating has "forced us to communicate, and learn to communicate well".
"It's different, you kind of have to adapt," Alexia says. She knows it's "not ideal" though, and Tao says he would still rather see her every day if he could.
For now, with travel restrictions in place, they don't know when they'll next see each other. All they can do is pay close attention to updates on travel rules, but they have made tentative plans for Alexia to come to the UK for a couple of months once they ease.
"I'm hoping that by the end of the year Canada will open their borders up so he'll be able to come and visit here," Alexia says, her eyes glancing down to Tao's screen on Zoom. "We'll see."
Sincery Best Jokes
SRC: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56762942
powered by Blogger News Poster
0 Comments:
Yorum Gönder